Umm, Superheroes!
by mostavidfanpires
Summary: The Cullens' secret powers are revealed, and Emmett covers it up by declaring that they are "Umm... superheroes!" Can the Cullens fight evil and still keep their secret? Who will reveal himself as the ultimate villain? Whatever will their cool names be!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: We do not own any Twilight characters. This is a FANFICTION! Duh. We also don't own Toni Braxton or her song, "Unbreak My Heart." We don't own our friends either, no matter what we say to their faces. Just making sure that we cover all the bases.

Chapter 1

"Why are we even here?" Edward exclaimed.

Alice's head snapped toward him. "What do you mean?" she asked with venom in her voice.

Edward sighed. "Let me clarify. Why are we sitting in the live audience of _Stars of the U.S._ watching America's biggest morons attempt to sing their way to stardom?"

Alice shifted back to watch the stage. "Because Tony Oscar is less than a hundred yards away and we are going to be blessed with the beautiful gift of his ambrosia voice."

Emmett leaned over to Edward's ear. "That doesn't explain why WE are here," he muttered.

"I heard that," Alice hissed. Bella giggled.

_Stars of the U.S. _was the newest hit talent television show in which wannabe singers competed for a recording contract that would enable them to release their first CD which, although millions of people had watched them compete, would sell around zero. Alice had won 6 tickets to come watch the finale in Los Angeles from her favorite morning radio show, so she had decided to drag her siblings, plus Bella, along with her.

"Alice –" Rosalie began.

"Shhh!!" Alice shushed loudly. "The show is about to start!"

A large spotlight flashed onto the stage and the show's host, Brian Oceanrest, sauntered onstage.

"Good evening viewers!" Brian announced, "I'm Brian Oceanrest and you're watching _Stars of the U.S._! Tonight, you will cast your votes and decide who will be the next 'Star of the U.S.'" Alice cheered wildly as her siblings, and Bella, stared at her in disbelief and confusion.

"And here are your semi-finalists: Kaitlyn Smith, Lindsay Anderson, and Tony Oscar!!" Upon hearing her idol's name, Alice's eyes went wide and if she could faint, she most definitely would have. Kaitlyn glided onstage and began her operatic rendition of Elvis' classic hit "You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog."

"Well this is simply wonderful." Jasper said sarcastically.

Alice sneered at him. "You will not speak while Tony performs if you know what's good for you."

"I apologize for my sister's obnoxious behavior." Edward whispered to Bella.

"Actually, I kind of like this show. I watch it while you go hunting. I really liked Ariel Henderson, but she got eliminated after the first round. Now I'm rooting for Lindsay, but don't tell Alice that." Bella admitted, horrified at the prospect of Alice finding out that Tony wasn't her favorite. Alice, in her excitement and concentration was oblivious to everything around her.

The audience clapped good-naturedly as Kaitlyn slightly bowed and walked off of the stage. Brian came back to announce Lindsay.

"And now Lindsay Anderson will take the stage –" He was interrupted as a stagehand scurried toward him. The stagehand handed Brian an index card and dashed away while waving to the camera. Brian cleared his throat.

"It seems that Miss Anderson has decided to forfeit her place in _Stars of the U.S._ in favor of a soccer game."

Bella sighed to Jasper. "There were rumors that this would happen. Lindsay is just so dedicated to her sports."

"Therefore, " Brian continued, "Up next is our final contestant: Tony Oscar!" The crowd cheered wildly as Tony sashayed to the mike. A hush fell over the concert hall as he began to sing.

"_Unbreak my heart/ Say you love me again/ Undo this hurt that you caused/ When you walked out the door/ And you walked out of my life._" Tony continued to sing as Alice went oddly still. Her siblings, and Bella, sniggered at her obsession, but their laughter faded when a look of sheer terror began to distort her face. The Cullens, and Bella, slowly turned toward the stage in horror.

Above the oblivious Tony, a light fixture was slowly start-and-stop dropping directly above the singer. The party of six was the only group to notice the disaster waiting to happen. They turned back to Alice, only to discover she was gone.

A/N: As much as we would love for you guys to review, we won't pressure you to do so for two reasons. One, we personally find it annoying when writers tell us that "I won't post the next chapter until I have 90 reviews!" Two, we plan to keep writing even if you don't like our story. We'll just try to make it better. Therefore, constructive criticism is welcome. Positive reviews warm our hearts though, so if you feel like it, leave us one.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Once again, we do not own Twilight. Nor do we own My Chemical Romance. However, we do own Tony Oscar, even if he does sing like a girl.

Chapter 2

Meanwhile…

Anna Ward was sitting in her living room, watching her little sister's favorite show. "Amy," she said, "these people are pathetic. They have no talent whatsoever. Why do you watch this? I mean, look at that kid. What's his name, Tony? He sings like a girl, girl with a head-cold." Anna turned back to the television. Suddenly, a gray form streaked across the screen, shoving Tony off stage as a large piece of equipment crashed down onto the platform. Screams, shouts, and all types of commotion rang through Anna's television speakers.

"Oh. My. Chemical Romance." Anna said mouth agape. Amy screamed and leapt off of the couch.

"Tony!" She cried hugging the T.V. in comfort. Anna pulled Amy aside to get a view of the camera which was now pointing at Tony Oscar, splayed out on the floor, shocked but breathing. Beside him was extremely pale yet exceedingly beautiful teenage girl, her eyes wide as saucers. She was slowly being surrounded by others like her.

"Alice, what have you done?" cried a pale young woman with long blonde hair. She turned toward the camera, realizing for the first time that she was on live television. "Oh, crap."

Anna stared riveted at the TV. _Who are these people?_ She remembered the incomparable speed with which Tony had been flown across the stage.

Suddenly, the group of beautiful teenagers, and one average-looking brunette, was surrounded by hordes of people.

"How did you do that?"

"Is this some part of a government testing?"

"Are you aliens?"

"Can I have your phone number?"

Anna giggled at this last question. She watched as Brian Oceanrest shoved his way to the front of the crowd. His question was simple. "What on earth are you people?"

The unusual teens looked furtively at each other, whispering. A hulking boy with curly, brown hair shifted to be closer to Brian and the camera as his friends stared in confusion. "Umm…" he said, "superheroes!"

A/N: Yes, we know. Very short. We just wanted to get this far so that the title made sense. We are writing the next chapter as quickly as possible but we'd like to know whether or not you guys had any ideas for superhero names. Just leave them in a review or message us. Thanks for reading! By the way, please take the poll because LTTn3rd is a stupid, but she has always wanted some completely random person to give her advice.


	3. Chapter 3

Happy Birthday, Charlotte. (And a belated one for Anna.) This one's for you!

Disclaimer: No, we still don't own Twilight. -sigh-

Chapter 3

"What are we going to do about this?" Jasper asked as he mounted the steps to his front door.

Edward grumbled a few paces behind, "It's all Alice's fault anyway! _She's _the one who won the tickets! _She's_ the one who had to save the mortal!"

Alice lightly shoved her brother up the stairs. "You would have done the same thing if it was Bella."

Edward scoffed, "They are entirely different scenarios."

Jasper opened the door and was met with Esme and Carlisle's glares. The pair stood unmoving in front of the big screen television which currently had a close up of the anchorwoman on the local nightly news. Next to her head was a picture of the Cullens and Bella standing with a dazed Tony Oscar.

"This is Kristen Strain reporting live from the LTT news studio. Apparently, the small town of Forks, Washington has a new bunch of superheroes." The anchorwoman said, "Their talent was put on display as one saved Tony Oscar, as seen on the newest hit television show, _Stars of the U.S._, from a large piece of overhead equipment as it fell from the ceiling. Little is known about them but hopefully, they will come to the rescue once more if trouble calls."

The clip of Emmett telling the media that the Cullens we superheroes was shown afterwards.

Esme began to impatiently tap her foot. "Well? Have you anything to say for yourselves?"

"Uh oh," Alice said. "I should've seen this coming."

"How could you have let this happen! We've worked so hard to keep a low profile, and you all manage to screw everything up in a matter of minutes, on live TV no less!" Carlisle exclaimed. He paced back and forth in front of the couch where his rash children sat shrinking away from his rant.

Esme stepped behind her husband. "Normally I would be able to overlook you're mistake, after all, it was someone's life, but this is a big deal! You do realize that in order to not expose us, we're going to have to keep up this charade?"

The Cullen kids looked at each other. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose at hearing his siblings' thoughts.

"So let me get this straight," Emmett said incredulously. "You are willing to let us pretend we're superheroes?"

"I don't see any other choice!" Carlisle cried, taking Esme's hand and walking from the room. "We'll leave you to puzzle it out."

Edward sighed. He could see, and hear, the wheels turning in their heads. He turned to look at Bella, who was looking slightly miserable.

"What's wrong?" He asked her.

"Isn't it obvious? You all have amazing vampire powers and last time I checked…" Bella trailed off as she felt for the vein in her wrist. Feeling her pulse still lingering, she said sarcastically, "Darn it. I'm still not a vampire."

"What we need is a really awesome team name!" Emmett said enthusiastically in an attempt to make everyone see the situation his way, as yet another exciting happening in the Bella era. "How about The Cullenators, plus Bella? Or better yet, Bella and the Cullenators! At least this way, even though you don't have any powers, your name will be first."

"Emmett," Rosalie rebuffed. "Bella and the Cullenators sounds too much like a cheesy band name."

"Well, in any case, when we have to go back out and save someone, they won't be thinking of our names." Alice said, pondering other possibilities, most of which having to do with shopping. "They'll be seeing our fabulous superhero costumes!"

Edward stopped Alice in her tracks. "I agree with Carlisle. Do you really think that we can go into the public eye after something like this was on the _news_? No way will you ever get me into tights anyway." Alice looked slightly discouraged, but Bella looked confused. She couldn't remember Carlisle saying anything about not leaving the house. As Edward tapped his temple Bella's mind clicked.

She let out a remarkably eloquent "Ohh…"

"Well, at any rate, we don't have to worry about Charlie. He probably would have short-circuited." Bella's father had decided to try ice-fishing with a few friends in Alaska.

"Yes. That's all good and well, but I've had another idea!" Alice sang. Edward groaned loudly. "That's right, Eddie, a new way to get you into spandex. Carlisle never said anything about using the internet to buy costumes."

A/N: Poor Edward. We tried to make this one longer and hope it was okay. It was really more of a transitional chapter anyway. Next chapter we should get the team name and individual super hero names but we still could use ideas. Drop us a review if you feel like it. Also, we have a poll up on our profile. Go and vote!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

So, here it is. The next chapter! Yes, it took forever, but, you know, school sucks.

Disclaimer: As much as we wish we did, we do not own Batman comics, movies, costumes…Batman anything really. Nor do we own Band-Aids, though it would be wonderful if we did because we'd be rich. Also, if you have any questions whether or not we own Twilight, see previous chapters (or dunk your head in a toilet and flush repeatedly. Your choice.)

Chapter 4

"I can't believe this is happening." Edward said, sitting at the dining table for another "Family Meeting". "We're going to call me The Inner Ear?"

"Of course! Doesn't it fit? You can _hear _people's _inner_ thoughts." Alice responded, with a waggle of her dark eyebrows. There was unanimous agreement around the table.

"Well, I for one dig my name," Emmett said, flexing his absurdly large muscles. "I'm The Bear."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dear lord."

"Oh Edward, don't be such a downer. Your costume is simply _adorable_. I'm working on plans right now," Alice berated as she looked up from her fashion sketches.

Bella grumbled from the other side of the living room. "At least you get to _have_ a name. Stupid human blood."

Rosalie sighed. "Bella, you're going to have to get over this. No one is going to change you just so you can pretend to be a superhero."

"Can we just get back to the outfits?" Alice interrupted. "Now Emmet, I'm thinking something earthy for you. It fits with your name and forest green is great for your complexion."

Emmett beamed. "It's hard for some to pull off, but not… _The Bear!_"

Everyone sighed. Alice nodded. "Oh, is anyone opposed to spandex?"

"_What?_" The room whipped around.

"Wait, I thought you were joking about the spandex!" Edward cried.

Alice folded her arms. "It's classic. All the superheroes wear spandex. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right."

Edward sighed. "We'll work that out later. Back to names. For Alice, how about 'The Oracle?'"

Jasper shook his head. "'The Oracle' is from Batman. That's copyright infringement."

"Okay, how about 'Madame Cassandra'?" Edward suggested. "Cassandra was an oracle during the Trojan War."

Bella jumped in. "We know, Edward. We _all_ were in History together."

"I do like it," Alice said, "It's very… _mysterious._"

"What about me?" Rosalie cut in.

Everyone fell into thought. "Wait," Alice spouted suddenly, "Who says your name has to relate to your powers? It could fit with your costume!"

"But what's my costume going to be?" Rosalie asked.

Everyone fell into thought again. "What's your favorite word? Other than your name?" Edward asked in an attempt to get some brainstorming going.

Rosalie paused. "Gossamer."

Alice's eyes went wide. "That's excellent! We can put gossamer wings on your costume and everything! You'll look just like a fairy!" Edward scoffed at the ideas her stylish mind was sewing together.

"Is that everyone?" Bella asked. "I'm hungry."

"I don't have a name yet," Jasper said.

His siblings, plus Bella, looked at each other. _Are you going to tell him? I'm not,_ Emmett thought to Edward.

"Jasper, you probably won't like this, but we already had an idea for your name," Edward admitted. "The Emotional Band-Aid."

"No!" Jasper shouted. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"I kind of like it," Bella piped up. "It fits."

"Yeah, but –" Jasper said.

"Jasper," Alice whined, "Can't we just go with it, for now? I'm already having the emblem made for your outfit."

"What emblem?" Jasper asked, dreading the answer.

"A Band-Aid, of course." Alice supplied, not even bothering to look up from her plans. Jasper groaned.

"Well, if we've wrapped this up, I'm going to take Bella to get something to eat." Edward announced, effectively bringing the meeting to an end.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Once more, we do not own Band-Aid brand. We will be mentioning them quite a lot, but this is the last time we'll put them in the disclaimer. And we don't own the Cullens, plus Bella, either. Trust us, if we did, we'd be _waaaaaay_ too busy to write fanfiction.

Chapter 5

"Oh. My. Lord." Edward said, pulling a length of black spandex from cardboard box. "I am _never_ wearing this." The Cullen kids, minus Bella, were all sitting on the floor of their living room opening their newly arrived costumes. Bella was on the couch, not opening anything and looking rather bored and dejected.

Emmett chortled. "C'mon Eddie, Alice already paid for them. And it's not that bad. I mean, mine is _way_ better, of course, but yours is pretty cool too." He pulled out his own costume from the shipping carton and held it up for everyone to see. The Bear's outfit was a sleek one-piece body suit of forest green with a golden utility belt. He put the suit to the side and leaned into the box again pulling out the footwear resting inside. Emmett gawked at the large, furry, clawed bear paw boots.

"Don't you love them?" Alice squealed. "They go perfectly with the ears on the mask!"

"_What_? Alice," Emmett whined, "You completely messed me up! I thought being The Bear would let my macho side shine through! I'm not supposed to look like some teddy bear. Who's going to be afraid of that?"

"Umm, people afraid of bears?" Jasper said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, as he lifted out his own costume. "Well, Alice, I guess mine is okay- _What on earth is this?_" He pointed to an image printed on the light blue material.

Alice giggled. "That's your emblem, silly! Remember, the Band-Aid?'

"I thought that was still negotiable!" Jasper whined. "First I get the stupid name, now I have to be a walking billboard? I look like I have some sort of chest wound!"

"Jasper, just go with it for now. We'll change it later, when _you _think of something better." Alice said.

"You know fully well that I won't. I suppose I'm stuck as The Emotional Band-Aid after all." Jasper sighed in defeat.

"I hate to be the positive one in all of this negativity, but you should all still be glad that you _have _names, costumes, the whole she-bang. _I'm_ still stuck here." Bella said rather negatively from the couch across the room.

Alice gasped in delight. "This turned out even better than I thought." She held up her orange scarf with silver medallions hanging from the bottom. "I'm wearing it as a skirt." She said to the curious glances. "My costume has a gypsy vibe." She also pulled out a deep plum, short sleeved full body suit and another orange scarf to be tied on as a mask.

Rosalie walked in from the hallway. "Alice. I look like a four-year-old at Halloween. I mean, honestly, purple and pink? The sparkly wings weren't enough?"

"They aren't sparkly," Alice sniffed. "They're gossamer. Remember? The whole point of your name? We could have just called you "The Hot Chick" and left it at that!"

Emmett laughed boisterously. "Works for me!"

But Rose had stopped listening. She was entranced by the flying appendages strapped to her back. "Alice, are they _supposed_ to move?"

"Well," Alice began, "I can see the future, Edward can read minds, Jasper's an empath, and Emmett has super strength, even for a vampire. I figured that if the wings moved while you were jumping around or something, it would look like you could fly. I mean, what are we supposed to say that your gift is…super beauty? Yeah, that would really scare the criminals away." Rosalie looked offended but instead replying, she walked out of front door. Everyone looked to Edward inquiringly.

"She's going outside to try them out." He said simply. He turned toward his other sister. "Alice –" Alice, however, wasn't listening. She had fallen into a trance. Her siblings looked at each other, then at Edward.

Edward sighed. "She'll be out in a second. You can wait."

Alice snapped back to reality with a gasp. "We have to get to Port Angeles! There's going to be a robbery! Everybody, suit up!"

A/N: Oohhh! It's a cliffhanger! What'll happen next? We know. Our next chapter is almost done, so the wait won't be as long this time. LTTn3rd is currently sketching the costumes so they should be up on our profile shortly. Bookworm is doing what she can to help which is mostly coloring.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: We may not own the Cullens but hopefully we can hold your attention for a few minutes as you read the next installment of Umm…Superheroes!

Chapter 6

"Edward, come on! We need to go!" Alice yelled in the general direction of Edward's room.

"No way am I going to be seen in public like this!" He shouted back. Alice looked to Bella expectantly.

She sighed. "Edward, come down. You guys need to go so I can wallow in my depression. Alone."

At the sound of Bella's misery, Edward couldn't help himself as he streaked down the stairs and pulled her into an embrace. "That was a very dirty trick." He said to Alice over Bella's shoulder. He was dressed in his black suit with metallic silver boots, gloves, and mask. The dark material was covered in silver writing, representing snatches of other people's thoughts.

Alice raised an inky black eyebrow. "Everyone else ran ahead. You have ten seconds to get out of here before I tell Bella about that one time with the blender –"

"Shut up Alice!" Edward cut her off as he turned to Bella, "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. You go save some helpless humans." Bella replied.

"I'll be back as soon as I –"

"So Bella, one time Edward and Emmett were in the kitchen," Alice began. Edward quickly hugged Bella again and sprinted out the door, dragging Alice along with him. As the duo made their way off of the Cullen property and out of Forks, Bella stood in the living room. She lifted her first two fingers to her wrist and held them there for a moment.

"Darn it! I'm _still_ not a vampire!"

v—v

Edward and Alice burst through the doors of Headbangin' Tunes, the heavy metal record store owned by local Jasmine Hensley.

"Edward, we're going to need your help! This guy's kind of wily." Emmett cried from his side of the store.

"You'll never take me alive!!" yelled a puny teenager clutching an old record from behind a stack of records. "This is the last piece to my collection! I've spent years looking for this!" He grabbed a Gene Simmons bobble-head and hurled it at Jasper.

The collectible bounced off of Jasper's head as he turned to Rose. "Is this a joke?"

"Why don't you just make him feel guilty or something?" She asked from her perch on the counter, her gossamer wings fluttering softly behind her.

"No! I want to take this guy down! Prove this teddy bear is a grizzly!" Emmett yelled as he lunged at the burglar.

"I have a name! I am Stan!" Stan shrieked as he darted away from Emmett, who, blinded by pride and ambition couldn't stop himself as he rammed into a display of Metallica inspired footwear. Edward and Jasper streaked over to attempt to break Emmett's fall, forgetting that he was impervious to the wimpy seven-inch stiletto heels raining on top of him.

Emmett burst through the mountain of shoes with a vengeance. He ran, once more, towards the scampering teen, but Alice beat him to it. She pinned Stan against the wall.

"What the…" The Cullens, plus Stan, turned toward a young woman who had just entered from the back room. "Umm… what are you doing and why are you doing it in my store?" The young woman was none other than the owner of Headbangin' Tunes, Jasmine Hensley.

"That man… er, person is a thief. He was trying to make off with this." Alice held up the record in her free hand.

"Give that back!" Stan said, struggling vainly against Alice's grip.

Jasmine walked over and took the loot from Alice's hand. "This is my 1979 Van Halen first edition! It seems to be okay but…" Jasmine trailed off, her eyes wide. She stood star struck as in seemingly slow motion, Edward pulled off his mask, shaking his bronze locks loose. Her eyes traveled up and down Edward's taunt form. His skin-tight suit left nothing to the imagination as she traced the lines of his face, the curve of his shoulders, the angles of his arms.

"It's a good thing The Bear was here to apprehend the criminal!" Emmett cut in, eager to boost his own reputation.

His siblings rolled their eyes. Jasmine shook her head, remembering to breathe. "Yes thank you all so much," she said slightly dazed.

"It was our pleasure," Jasper said. "But we have to go."

"But- can't you stay? I haven't thanked you all properly yet," Jasmine said glancing at Edward.

"No, it's fine. We're always happy to help." Jasper began walking quickly to the door. Edward nodded at the others.

When they were outside, Alice asked "Why did you want to leave so soon? That was kind of rude."

Edward chuckled under his breathe. Jasper glared at him. "Alice. This suit is giving me a rash. I don't know how a little bit of fabric is more effective against me than a gun but I would like to go home. Now." The blond vampire took off in an uncomfortable sprint and his giggling family, no pun intended, followed suit.

A/N: So, there's the chapter. We love the break in the middle thought up by LTTn3rd. But we were wondering what our wonderful readers think sould be written all over Edward's suit. If you feel up to it, think of a phrase or something you think should be on his costume. The best one will get a cameo and virtual cookie!! Also, we have a new poll up on our profile. Go and vote!


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